Two Broken Souls
by annarosen
Summary: Why do all great love stories end tragically? When Peeta realizes he can't help Katniss anymore, he decides to move on. This dark story explores the gradual mental deterioration of Katniss and how it affects those around her. Will the star-crossed lovers ever find their way back to one another? AU. Post-Mockingjay. Drabble style.
1. Prologue

Note: I do not own the Hunger Games, it belongs to the talented and amazing Suzanne Collins.

* * *

"_Stay with me?" _

"_Always."_

"_Liar." _

* * *

**Prologue**

It had taken years, decades even, for it all to grow back together.

A world without the Hunger Games was a dream for most. Only a few were privileged to realize this dream as a reality. This new era was peaceful, filled with joy and children's laughter.

All had truly survived the war but two.

The once radiant baker's son with the perfect blue eyes and the beloved Mockingjay had together sparked a revolution that had quickly developed into an inferno, engulfing an entire nation.

It's therefore no surprise to most how the story of the star-crossed lovers came to an end. But those that have heard the story disagree on the ending.

Some believe it to be a happy one, while others say it was always meant to be tragic.


	2. Primrose

****_"Where are you going?"_

_"Would you stop me if I told you?_

* * *

**Chapter 1- Primrose  
**

Two broken souls; most thought they'd simply grow back together.

That eventually they would find their way back home into each others arms. Maybe not right away, but in time, it was inevitable.

This hope was what had motivated Peeta to plant those primroses in her garden within hours of returning from the Capitol. He knew that even if they were both damaged beyond repair, they could maybe help one another, maybe even become friends.

He saw a glint of hope in her blank eyes as she laid them on him that day. He had smiled to himself.

She was going to be alright and so was he. Everything was going to work out.

Together they would make it work.

They had to make it work.


	3. Trying

_I wondered what it feels like to go insane. _

* * *

**Chapter 2- Trying**

Peeta tried, he really did.

He tried with kindness, smiles and subtle gestures to persuade her that life could go on even after everything they've been through.

He encouraged her to hunt, taught her how to make muffins and cheese buns, helped her with the book that quickly filled with their losses.

But instead of letting him help her heal, she pushed him away.

She seldom responded to his gentle touches or kind words. She had become like those robots in the Capitol, simply going through the motions.

Katniss was living, but she wasn't alive.

He didn't care. He knew it was only a matter of time before she began to heal.

His arms must be helping, because holding her was the only way she survived her nightmares.

It was supposed to work.

He kissed her on a spring day at the meadow. He was desperately looking for a sign.

Katniss offered him a smile, then fell back on the soft grass. She closed her eyes, tears streaming down her face.

It was then that he realized.

He had lost her.


	4. Giving Up

_"Still alive sweetheart?"_

* * *

**Chapter 3- Giving Up**

Call him pathetic, but he waited another three years before he threw in the towel.

He begins to slowly move his belongings out of her house, just a few items at a time, not wanting to alarm her. He knew he had to leave. It was unfair to Katniss and himself if he stayed.

Katniss never asked any questions, just watched as he removed what had accumulated in her house over the last three years.

"Where are you going?" she finally asked as Peeta packed the last of his clothing.

"Would you stop me if I told you?" he whispers, unable to meet her gaze as it burned through his back.

She maintains her silence, before taking off her night shirt which originally belonged to Peeta. She had a habit of wearing this particular shirt after their love making or whatever it was that they did almost every night.

She tosses the shirt to him before tiptoeing her way into the bathroom and gently closing the door and locking it, putting up a physical barrier between Peeta and herself.

He knocks, not once, not twice, but close to a thousand times.

Desperate.

She knew he was there, she heard him knocking, calling her name over and over begging her to come out and talk.

Eventually the knocking stopped.

Then she heard him say it, those dreaded words.

"I'm sorry, I give up."


	5. Acid

_When she heard a gentle knock on her door, she bolted. _

_Thinking, hoping, believing that it was Peeta._

* * *

**Chapter 4 – Acid**

He had just turned twenty-two when he met her. She had moved to District 12 with her family in hopes of a fresh start, a new beginning. She was a beautiful blonde with blue eyes and pale milky white skin.

For the first time in his life, he felt a spark for a girl other than Katniss.

She knew it was inevitable, it was bound to happen, only a matter of time before he found someone new.

Someone like Elena.

She also knew that it wouldn't be fair to prevent him from moving on. He had been through hell and back with her, numerous times: the first Hunger Games, the Victory Tour, the Quarter Quell, torture and hijacking by the Capitol.

And during the Revolution on that fatal day, they had literally burned together as Prim died.

They shared scares and burn marks. They had... _have_ something special.

Don't they?

He deserved a happy life, deserves to be with someone who could love him, and not hurt him.

All she ever did to him was hurt him. All she ever did was fuck up his life.

But he was hers.

Wasn't he?

They belonged together.

Didn't they?

She watched as they grew closer over the next few month. She saw them exchange shy glances, curt waves and even giggled to herself when she saw him scratch the back of his neck while he spoke with her.

But her heart had sank when she witnessed them kiss. She wasn't spying or anything, but she may have been curious when she saw them walking through town hand in hand. She had followed them with her quiet huntress feet and quickly ducked behind a nearby store when they had come to an abrupt stop.

She watched as his soft lips, the lips that belonged to her, gently traced over Elena's. They were both blushing but she could tell this wasn't their first kiss. It was shy, but well practiced.

Her stomach begins to turn, and she feels her insides make their way up her body, dangerously close to her mouth.

A middle aged man stops her as she stumbles towards her home, her face was dangerously pale he said, its white, and suggested she sit down for a second.

Instead she ran.

She Ran.

Ran.

And Ran.

She doesn't quite make it to the sink before emptying her stomach on the tile floor of her kitchen.

Her heartbreak tastes a lot like acid.

* * *

AN: The italics at the top are lines from future chapters. Leave me a response and let me know how I can improve. Thanks for reading!


	6. Smile

_She doesn't realize she's barefoot until she reaches the bakery, her feet soiled in dirt._

* * *

**Chapter 5 - Smile**

She feels safe tucked away in the corner of her couch with a large blanket draped over her body.

Sae and her granddaughter were regular visitors to her house again. She assumed Haymitch or maybe even Peeta had asked Sae to check up on her once in a while again, just to make sure that she was alive.

Not that it mattered, she thought to herself.

With Peeta gone, she was as good as dead. She couldn't sleep, she couldn't eat, she couldn't move.

Katniss sat around everyday and watched Sae cook and her granddaughter clean her dusty home.

She was flipping through the book she had created with Peeta when she heard his familiar voice. Her eyes flashed to the TV screen and she instantly begins to drown in that familiar and soothing tone.

Katniss couldn't find it in her heart to be angry when he announced his engagement to Elena on national television.

Peeta was getting married.

She knew she had an audience, Sae and her granddaughter were closely watching her, waiting for a reaction.

She should be happy she thought to herself. She has to act happy.

Happy.

Happy?

But the truth was… she was devastated.

_"One more time? For the audience?"_ she remembers Peeta saying.

So she turns around to face them and does her best to channel Effie Trinket as she announces that his wedding was going to be a big big day in her high pitched Capitol voice.

She must have done a terrible job because they both stared back at her in pity.

So she bolts up to her room and slams her door shut.

She walks straight up to her full length mirror and begins practicing.

"I'm happy for you."

"Congratulations."

"Wow, heard you're getting married."

"Good job, buddy."

She practiced for hours behind her locked bedroom door. She needed it to be convincing so she tried smiling but it hurt her face too much to smile. Not to mention she looked like a pathetic lunatic, all disheveled hair, tired and puffy eyes, dry and chapped lips.

Peeta had told her she wasn't particularly pretty once. And she sees it, she was fucking ugly.

One more time, for the audience, she repeats to herself and keeps practicing her smile.

She smiled, and smiled, and smiled. Her only goal was to perfect it.

The problem was none of the smiles were good enough.

They were all fake.


	7. Mentor

_"Do I look stupid?" she asks, fidgeting with the hem of her dress._

* * *

**Chapter 6 - Mentor**_  
_

_**Boom** _

She wakes up to the sound of something smashing into her bedroom door over and over. The force from the impact shakes not only the door but her whole bedroom. Whoever that was trying to get in was very determined.

She could have gotten up and opened the door herself for the intruder. Maybe even called out to them to hold on a minute while she unlocked the door.

**_Boom_**

Instead she sat on the ground with her back to the mirror where she had spent all night practicing her smile. She watched in awe as her whole room continued to shake violently.

**_Boom_**

Eventually the hinges gave out and a stumbling man fell right through the door, his eyes laced with dread and fear. The intruder's face instantly relaxes when he sees her against the mirror staring back at him, vacant.

Haymitch looked dishevelled, drunk, and smells quite repulsive. Some things never change, Katniss thought to herself.

"Still alive sweetheart?" he asks her, closing the distance between their bodies. He slowly lowers himself beside her with a loud groan, mumbling something about aging and whatnot.

"Hello, can anyone hear me?" He asks rather comically, this time knocking her head with his knuckles as if she were a damn door. He continues to knock, over and over staring into her eyes calling out to her, asking her if she was "there". He even goes as far as waving his hands in front of her glassy eyes.

He relaxes moments later, his head falling back, resting on the wall. He slips out a bottle of white liquor from his pocket and takes a long, drawn out swig before offering some to her.

She takes the bottle but doesn't drink from it. Just stares at the clear substance that could potentially numb her to the brink of annihilation.

"Judging by your state, you heard the boy is getting hitched." Haymitch casually states before taking the bottle out of her hand and taking another mouthful, swishing the vile liquor around his mouth like it was some fine tasting aged wine.

She focuses on her big toe. She had tripped on the uneven flooring of her kitchen a few days back and had managed to stub it rather hard. It was quite painful she must admit, but the way her nail had turned black, blood pooling underneath it was suddenly so very amusing to her. Plus, the more she focused on her toe the more she could keep those damn tears at bay.

"I told you... you don't deserve him."

Blunt bastard.

"In fact, if I recall correctly, my exact words were… you could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve him." Haymitch recites it like it were a line from an ancient play.

Everything hurt so badly.

Her body, her muscles, her face, her head, her soul. She feels overwhelmed by the pain this is causing her.

Her body begins to go through the typical motions of crying. It begins to shake, then she begins to sob, her body convulsing. What surprises her, is how hot the tears that roll down her face are. They burn her as they trickle down her cheeks.

She eventually calms down, feels her body relax into the gravity that somehow manages to ground her to her bedroom floor.

"Do you think he's happy?" Katniss asks but immediately regrets the question, afraid to hear the answer. So she slumps over like a washed up ragdoll, as if inviting Haymitch to just say what she already knows, and to give her the final blow.

"He is."

She stares at her mentor and decides to smile. She practiced all night for a reason. She has to prove to everyone that she is capable of wishing Peeta's happiness. Even if his newfound happiness involves her in no way, shape or form.

So here it goes.

It takes all of her left over energy but she does it, she smiles, her face twitching in the process.

Still fake.

"Sweetheart," Haymitch says and gently runs his hand over her limp and greasy hair. She wondered if she looks like an animal that needed petting. Because that was exactly what he was doing, he was petting her, the wild animal that now occupied the house that used to be Peeta and her.

"I was always on your side Katniss… and I will _always be_ on your side when it comes to you and Peeta." Haymitch considers his next words carefully, something that neither one of them were ever very good at. Words were always best spoken by Peeta.

"Without him, sweetheart, you'll die… and as your mentor, I can't allow that." He smiles cupping his hand around her cheek, giving it a gentle smack.

They let the awkward yet comfortable silence take over the room and she closes her eyes and begins to wish for a big wave. Like those she saw when she went to District 4 during the Victory Tour with Peeta. Those big waves that would take down everything in their way and suck it all back into the ocean.

She hopes for that at this very moment. A big wave to crash right into her, loosen her grip on the ground and just suck her right back into the water, drifting her somewhere far far away.

"Why don't you tell him?" Haymitch's voice draws her back to her room. Back to the dreadful reality.

"Tell him what?"

"That you love him."

* * *

I hope you enjoyed it! Suggestions and comments are always appreciated!


	8. Strawberries

"_Black is for funerals brainless."_

_"Well… then I'm dressed appropriately." _

* * *

**Chapter 7 – Strawberries**

In an instant she realizes her stupidity.

That feeling she had on the beach during the Quell, it wasn't a mistake, it was real.

It was on that beach that she had realized that she needed him in her life and without him, she'll be reduced to an empty shell just like her mother.

For the first time in her life Katniss sympathizes with her mother. She had no control over what happened to her father that day in the mines. Her mother had no choice in the matter.

But she had the chance, the choice… it was up to _her. _She can still be with Peeta. She can change it all.

She can fix this if she tried.

She scrubs herself red in the shower, ridding her body of all the filth that has accumulated deep in her pores. She hurriedly brushes her tangled hair, practically yanking half of it out in the process. She braids her hair and tosses it over her shoulders. It doesn't look healthy or nice like it did in the past but it'll do for now.

Peeta loved her hair in a braid. He used to lay in bed with her and play with her braid for hours. He would sometimes take her braid into his hand and use its end to tickle her nose and cheeks. She remembers squealing in excitement, yet she would pretend she was annoyed and tell him to stop. Peeta would tell her she was perfect and nuzzle his face into the crook of her neck and playfully bite down on her skin.

She wonders if he left because there were more bad days than good ones like the one she just remembered.

She vows that it would be different this time, because this time, she was never going to let him go.

She flings open her closet door and rummages through her clothes for an appropriate attire to profess her love to him. One of Cinna's creations stands out to her. She slips the orange dress over her body, because she knows he'll love it.

Orange... Peeta's favorite color.

She is unable to contain her excitement at the sight of herself in the mirror. She feels confident, her face is radiant again.

The thought of making things right with Peeta was doing all of this to her.

She felt alive again.

How did she ever even think that she could _live_ without him? How did she ever think she could just let him _go_?

Haymitch approves of her dress and simply states that the boy will love it. She yanks open her vanity which contains a lone pink rouge her prep team had left behind all those years back. Katniss quickly tries to apply it only to realize that it had dried up over the years.

Haymitch snickers at her frustration telling her that Peeta probably won't give a shit whether she's wearing rouge or not. Plus, what's the point of wearing it anyways, if he was going to suck it all off her face he adds, oh so casually. She blushes and throws her rouge at Haymitch before rushing down to the kitchen.

She remembers Sae leaving some strawberries for her. Her granddaughter had picked some, and they were a little too ripe but still sweet and delicious she remembers Sae saying.

She finds the strawberries and begins to crush them up using a spoon in a tiny bowl. She takes her time doing this, making sure that the juice from the berry was nicely squeezed out, pooling at the bottom of the bowl.

When Haymitch asks her what the hell she was doing, she tells him that she had seen Madge do this once. Madge had begged her father for a red rouge for her sixteenth birthday but he had objected saying she was too young to wear any. So she had to make do with natural strawberry juice from the berry itself.

Katniss feels her chest tighten at the thought of Madge, her friend who had given her the gift that changed the course of history, the Mockingjay pin.

Katniss remembers watching her squish a strawberry right after lunch in front of the bathroom mirror. She would dip her pinky in the juice and smear it over and over on her lips until a slight color would appear. She would then put some on her cheeks because she liked having her cheeks rosy, she recalls her saying.

So she crushes the strawberries and applies the juice all over her lips and cheeks and bolts for the door.

All of a sudden she's not sure if its a good idea to go to Peeta. So she comes to an abrupt stop, hesitant.

"The boy may have found an angel sweetheart, but you're his god, he can't help but worship you." Haymitch says.

And that's all the reassurance she needs.

* * *

The response was overwhelming to the last chapter. Thank you so much, I really appreciate it.  
This story is going to be very unique, I think you will all be surprised at how it will unfold, so buckle up if you trust me!

Thanks again!


	9. Enough

_And just like that, she realizes why Clove insisted on sharpening her knives._

* * *

**Chapter 8 - Enough**

She doesn't realize she's barefoot until she reaches the bakery, her feet soiled in dirt.

It's close to the end of the night, and he's about to close the shop, but she doesn't care because she has made up her mind.

She bursts through the front door like a bull in a china shop, rattling the entire structure of the bakery. Peeta jumps at the sudden sound and drops the trey of bakery supplies he held in his arms.

His eyes widen at the sight of her and suddenly she blushes, feeling self-conscious. She tries to at least hide the blackened toenail with her other foot by placing it strategically over the big toe only to realize her feet are disgusting either way.

She must look pathetic to him.

"Katniss..." she misses the way he says her name. His voice so soothing it sends shivers down her spine. This is the first time he has spoken to her since that night she locked herself into her bathroom almost a year ago.

She feels her heart beating faster, as if to remind her that she was still alive.

Peeta looks confused, maybe even a little frustrated with her sudden intrusion but she doesn't care.

"I'm here to see you." She announces and instantly feels like an idiot. Of course she was here to see him. She had no business with anyone else that worked at the bakery.

Peeta chuckles to himself lightening the mood. He probably finds her declaration just as odd. She gets a glimpse of her own reflection in the window and she realizes there is a smile on her face. And it's real, not one of those well practiced fake ones.

"Well, you found me!" They both simultaneously let out a nervous laugh, and suddenly it dawns on them both, how very awkward this all is.

After what seems like an agonizingly long silence she breaks it.

"Do I look stupid?" Katniss says, fidgeting with the hem of her dress.

"You know how I'll always see you," and she does, in his eyes she is always beautiful.

"I heard you're getting married." Katniss somehow manages to say this, her own words ripping her apart.

She can't even stomach looking at him, because she knows that if she does, she'll lose it. That drive, the urge that carried her to the bakery.

"She's…." he begins but stops almost immediately when he sees Katniss squeeze her eyes shut.

Peeta wasn't sure how he was going to explain to the love of his life, that he had decided to marry someone that was always going to be second best.

Like father, like son, Peeta thought to himself. How ironic.

So he lies to her.

"She's perfect. Elena's what I need in my life… I love her."

Those words cut through Katniss. She just wants to run away, the thought of Peeta loving someone else kills her.

"I'm not… perfect, you know that." Katniss stands watching him silently hoping that he'll understand the true depth of her words. She wants him to understand that even if Elena was perfect, she'll never understand Peeta the way she does.

They belong together.

Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark.

The star-crossed lovers of District 12.

She needs him to just take her into his arms, and let her rest her throbbing head on his broad chest. She just wants him to understand. She needs him to come back to her, and promise that he'll never leave her again.

"I'm not perfect… but… I need you… to survive." She finally meets his gaze, those beautiful sea blue irises that stare back at hers, exhausted.

"I can't live without—"

"Say it." He demands, taking a cautious step towards her.

"Peeta I—" she begins but is quickly interrupted again.

"Say those words that I've been dying to hear from you." It's like he knocked the wind right out of her. She falls silent and suddenly feels nauseous. Her chest aches. Her heart aches.

She needs air. She can't breathe.

She feels it in her heart and soul and in every fiber of her being but her voice has suddenly dried up.

"Say it and I'll call it off, the wedding, the engagement, all of it. We'll start over. Just you and me, and this time we'll make it work." He pleads, resting his strong calloused hands on her shoulders.

Why doesn't he get it? Wasn't standing here clean and showered in a dress of his favorite color enough? Didn't smelling like strawberries that she had smudged all over her colorless lips and cheeks saying it loud and clear? Didn't he see her dirty feet? These were all signs that she had made up her mind and that she was here, presenting her heart to him. Why did those three words matter to him so much? Don't actions speak louder than words?

"Haven't you had enough?"

She's so engulfed in her thoughts that she doesn't realize he has dropped his hands from her shoulders. She raises her head to meet his gaze. He looks angry and cold. For a brief second she thinks he is about to have an episode, the ones filed with rage, the ones where he calls her a mutt.

But she knows those cold eyes don't belong to the hijacked Peeta, but to the real one. The one she loves.

He's had enough of her.

Before she can stop him, he has left the storefront, his heavy metal leg pounding on the wooden stairs of the bakery as he makes his way upstairs, and out of her life.

* * *

Thoughts?


	10. Sunset

"_You need to pull yourself together Catnip."_

* * *

**Chapter 9 – Sunset  
**

Katniss wondered what it feels like to go insane.

She knew she had come close to the breaking point a few times before, but this one was different.

This one felt special.

Peeta had always rescued her from the brink of insanity.

When her father had died, Peeta had managed to save her by tossing her that burned bread.

After the games, when she suffered from nightmares, he would hold her and whisper soft words in her ears and recite stories of how he fell in love with her.

He loved her voice, especially when she sang, he said. He loved the way her braid swished as she walked. He enjoyed watching Rye squirm when she would toss the dead squirrel on the bakery counter and demand to see his father.

When Prim had died, the only hope she had left was Peeta. She would never admit it, but she was grateful that she drew blood from his hand when she tried to free the nightlock capsule from her sleeve after she murdered Coin because otherwise… she would have never realize how much he really meant to her.

How much she truly loved him.

That's why this one felt different. That's why it was _special._

Peeta always rescued her from the brink… pulling her back to reality... to sanity. This time he had tossed her right into the black hole himself.

She smiled as she twirled her fingers through her messy hair, wondering if anyone would judge her if they saw her today. Would people pity her? Or would they think she got what she deserved?

She wondered if Peeta would come to visit.

Katniss crawled carefully to her window and saw a reflection. She began to play hide and seek with the imaginary girl who looked an awful lot like herself.

When she heard a gentle knock on her door, she bolted.

Thinking, hoping, believing that it was Peeta.

Her feet wobbled under her, and she fell flat on her face but she didn't care because he was here.

She remembers she can crawl, so she does, and turns the knob, gently, a goofy smile on her face.

The person is not who she was expecting, not at all. Not wanting to be rude she practically claws her way up using the door frame to face her visitor.

Peeta's future wife is stunning. She has perfect blonde hair that flows down her back, sparkling blue eyes that are kind, and milky white skin that puts her olive one to shame.

Instantly she curses herself for not taking Sae's advice and changing out of her orange dress or showering since the day she went to visit Peeta.

Katniss leans heavily on the door frame and subconsciously blocks Elena's view from inside her dark and lifeless house. She feels like Elena is judging her. She _knows _she's judging her. She must be wondering what Peeta ever saw in her to want to spend the rest of his beautiful life with her. Did she think I was trash? Did she think I was worthless and disgusting? Does she think–

"Hello Ms. Everdeen, I–"

"You can't come in!" Katniss practically yells, causing Elena to jerk back slightly at her sudden outburst. She curses herself for being so hostile but immediately realizes she doesn't particularly give a fuck. Elena was not allowed to step inside her house and judge her. She had already taken Peeta from her with her perfect 'merchant' looks and now she was here to judge her, to rub it all over her face.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I was just hoping to converse with you, that's all."

Go away.

Elena's voice was soft, her skin, her hair, her features; everything she stood for was the complete opposite of Katniss.

Katniss' voice was deeper, her skin scarred and burned, her hair was dull and limp.

She wonders what would happen if she were to just retreat back into her house and gently shut the door. Would Elena leave her alone? Would her house suddenly come crashing down, trapping her until her eyes only saw black for eternity?

"I just wanted to tell you that I really admire you, and what you did for our country." Elena blushes, as she forces herself to make eye contact with Katniss' dead eyes.

Katniss wonders if she intimidated her or if she was simply frightening this perfect little wallflower.

How was a girl like this ever going to understand what Peeta went through during the games or the revolution? Would she be able to draw him back to reality when he had a violent episode?

"I have grown to respect you, and I want you to know that I truly love Peeta and I will be the best wife a man could ever ask for." Elena begins fidgeting with the sleeve of her long white shirt.

Katniss' knees began to wobble as her legs feel weak. She spends most of her time either sitting or lying down so the muscles must have weakened she realizes.

"And I came here to tell you that I promise to be good to him, to give him beautiful children, and to raise them as kind as Peeta and support him in every possible way."

Elena's hair begins to change color. Her back was facing the sunset.

"I love him Ms. Everdeen, and I wanted your blessing, that's why I came here today."

Sunset.

Orange.

Peeta.

Elena realized that Katniss was no longer paying any attention to her and was staring directly into the sunset behind her. She pitied Katniss. She may be only twenty, but she knows what the revolution entailed and what role Katniss and Peeta played. How they were the star-crossed lovers that ignited the revolution. How she owes her freedom from the Capitol because of their courage.

Peeta had assured her that there was nothing left between Katniss and himself. She loves Peeta from the bottom of her heart. She wants to get Katniss' approval because she is the closest thing to family Peeta has left.

Katniss watches as Elena slowly makes her way down her front porch, walking towards the beautiful sunset that Peeta admires so much. She remembers the day she spent with Peeta on the roof of the training center, when he played with her hair and woke her up to see the sunset. "I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now and live in it forever," he had said, and she should have let him.

She opens her mouth and before she can stop herself, she calls out to Elena.

"He never takes sugar in his tea."

Then she slams the front door shut and slides down with her back against the door as tears begin to flow down her already soiled face.

* * *

Thoughts?


	11. Headlines

"_What was that?" she demands before bursting through the bakery._

* * *

**Chapter 10 -Headlines**

**IT'S OVER! Peeta's Final Words to Katniss**

**Peeta's Betrayal**

**Inside Their Shocking Breakup**

**I Still Love Him! **

**Katniss' Nightmare**

Shame.

That's all Peeta feels as he aimlessly wonders through the magazine aisle.

The country was rebuilding from a bloody revolution for crying out loud. It amazed him how the public could be so obsessed with such a trivial thing, like his relationship with Katniss… _lack_ of relationship with Katniss.

Ever since his engagement to Elena was announced, the tabloids had gone wild over his private life. Granted, he gave up his so called "privacy" when he was reaped, but this was getting absolutely ridiculous and completely out of hand.

His shoulders slumped as he began walking back to his house in the Victor's Village. The outside of Katniss' home was littered with reporters and photographers again. Peeta sighed. This site was nothing new. Ever since his engagement was announced, they had been harassing her, just to see if they can get the first scoop.

He felt guilty.

He wondered how Katniss was doing. He wondered if she was eating. He wandered if she was sleeping. He wondered if she was hiding in the dark closet in her bedroom. He wonder—

"PEETA!"

_Shit. _

"Peeta, how do you feel about betraying Katniss?" "Do you still love her?" "Peeta!" "Over here!" "Do you feel guilty?" "Give us a minute." "Have you spoken to Katniss?" "How is your relationship with Elena different?" "What did Elena have that Katniss didn't?" "Peeta!" "Peeta!" "Give us a comment, Panem wants to hear from you!" "Peeta!" "Peeta!"

Peeta slams his front door, and beelines for his bedroom on the second floor. He throws open the shower curtain and blasts the water, within seconds he is naked, letting the ice cold water run over his body. It still amazes him how progressive his prosthetic is. He can literary feel the water trickle down his artificial leg.

He turns the water off and reaches for his white robe that hangs behind the bathroom door. He remembers how it used to hug Katniss' body. It was a few sizes too big for her, but she didn't care. She liked wearing his clothes she insisted. He remembers how he would playfully tug at the rope that held the robe around her body and slide it off of her soft shoulders before leaving gentle kisses on her collarbone.

He feels guilty even thinking about her this way. He had made his decision. It was time to move on.

It was over.

* * *

Her hair is wet when Katniss wakes up. She smells her sheets, they're clean. Odd, she thinks to herself.

She briefly remembers Sae forcing her to shower while she washed and changed her bed sheets. Her eyes dart to the window directly across from hers. She sees a figure walk back and forth, and she feels a sudden sharp pain through her heart. She wonders if Peeta would be upset if he knew this was her favorite thing to do. To stay in her bed all day long and wait for him to come home so she can watch his shadow move about the room.

Elena was "traditional" Haymitch explained, and that's why she refused to move into Peeta's house until they were married. Sorry for being an "untraditional" slut, Katniss thought to herself.

She looked forward to five o'clock in the morning, because she could _feel_ him waking up. She would purposely close her eyes and pretend like she was asleep, even though they both knew that she was up all night screaming from all her nightmares.

Everyday after Peeta heads to the bakery, she closes her eyes and forces her body to shut down, not sleep, but shut down until eleven o'clock at night, because that's when he would toss aside the curtains and open up his window a crack before going to sleep. Katniss would pretend like she was asleep, but they both knew that she was awake and had waited all day to see him, even if it was through the fluttering of those white curtains.

She wondered what it would be like to watch Peeta come home to his beautiful wife every night. She wondered if she should close her own curtains and shut out the world completely when that day came.

Sae gently knocks on the door before lowering herself onto the bed to soothe Katniss' hair. She blankly stares back at the old women while she tells her that Johanna was on her way for Peeta's wedding this weekend. She's a very vulgar girl, Sae says disapprovingly. You better not start talking like her missy; Sae says wagging her finger at Katniss.

I don't want to go. Katniss says, or at least she thinks she does, but Sae doesn't respond before gently closing her bedroom door.

Katniss closes her eyes and invites back the darkness.

* * *

"I'm sorry sweetheart." Katniss hears Haymitch's voice before she feels her body physically lift and get tossed into the warm bath. One woman scrubs her body while the other lathers vanilla scented foam through her hair. She feels her toenails get clipped and painted, her eyebrows tweezed. She then feels her body lift out of the tub before being carried to her bed for a full body wax. She wondered if it was really necessary for them to wax her _down there_… it wasn't hers that needed to be waxed right? It's not like she was the fucking blushing bride.

"Katniss dear, you look like a mess and a half." Effie's bubbly voice rings through her ears.

She feels her body slide through a floor length emerald green dress and watches as her prep team run around to do her hair. They toss it up, pull it down, twist it and curl it to create a "fashionable" design on her head.

She stares at Haymitch as he shifts uncomfortably in his black tuxedo, his hair carefully combed.

"Shouldn't you be at his house or something?" Katniss says as a pair of ridiculously high stilettos are forced on her feet.

"I'm leaving sweetheart, you and Johanna can come in time for the reception." He says before yelling at Effie and the prep team to leave the poor girl alone. He quickly ushers them out before throwing another apologetic look at Katniss and makes himself scarce.

Katniss hates the way she looks.

Everything about it.

Her hair, her makeup, her dress.

So she begins to unpin her hair letting the gentle curls flow down her back. Half way through freeing her hair, she notices Johanna enter the room but ignores her and silently continues to undo the messy creation that rests on top of her head.

She then slips out of her dress and scans her nude physique. She is significantly skinnier. Her hipbones jut out, so does her collarbone. Her waist is more defined, and her thighs no longer touch in the center.

She wonders if Peeta would still find her attractive.

She hears Johanna whistle, and she knows why. If the revolution had never occurred and magically she had remained alive and a Victor, she would have worked as a prostitute for the elite of the Capitol and her new found physique would have been extremely desirable.

She reaches inside her closet and without hesitation chooses a dress Cinna had made for her. It was perfect. Every inch of the dress hugged her body perfectly. The lace around her chest accentuated her neck. The capped sleeves elegantly displayed her shoulders. She didn't care that her entire back was exposed, her scars, all of it. The slit on the side of her dress, so high it left nothing to the imagination.

Cinna always knew how to make a statement.

And now, it was Katniss' turn.

She was going to make a statement.

"Black is for funerals brainless." Katniss watches as a mischievous smile appears on her friends face.

"Well… then I'm dressed appropriately."

* * *

Thoughts?


	12. Wedding

"_Prim?"_

* * *

**Chapter 11- Wedding**

The confidence and determination that brought her out of her house quickly withers as she approaches the Justice Building. She can hear the music emanate from up ahead and feels her body tense in anticipation, bringing her to a sudden stop.

"You think you can handle all this tonight?" Johanna asks pointing to the festivities ahead. Katniss considers her question for a while. She searches for an answer, with Johanna she didn't have to pretend. She didn't have to smile, and act like she was happy. So she simply responds with a shrug of her shoulders.

Katniss feels Johanna's hand slip thorough hers. She turns to her and watches as a sad smile crosses her friends face.

"I'll be OK." Katniss declares as reassuringly as she can, even though it was a clear and blatant lie.

Johanna reaches for her face and playfully flicks Katniss' nose with her index finger. "I thought I saw your nose grow a little." She watches as confusion clouds Katniss' face.

"Didn't your daddy ever tell you that story, about the wooden kid that kept lying and his nose got longer?"

Katniss shakes her head, she hadn't, but somehow the thought of it places a tiny smile on her face.

Katniss follows Johanna through a snaking archway made of wisteria into the open space that is filled with cheerful guests. Her nose is instantly confronted by the intoxicating smell of lavender. She spots the source of the warm aroma as the scented candles engulfed the open space with their warm light. The entire place was decorated with white, lilac, and magenta flowers that were all so bright and inviting. She notices tiny cupcakes stationed at every table with lavender icing and white letters that spelled 'P' and 'E'.

Katniss observes the guests as they stand around enjoying their delicate finger foods, deep in conversation. She sees familiar faces that returned to District 12 from 13, she also recognizes dignitaries that were in attendance representing President Paylor who was back in the Capitol. The rest of the guests she barely recognizes so she assumes they are citizens from other Districts that moved to 12 looking for a fresh start.

As her eyes lazily scan the crowd, she suddenly spots Elena, her silky white dress modest and beautiful. She watches as other girls complement her on how beautiful she was and how envious they were of her for findings someone like Peeta. She sees her golden blonde hair glisten in the candlelight and snickers to herself. Everything about her was so perfect, so pure, and so serene.

And here she was channeling the grim reaper in her black dress, withering frame and hollow lifeless eyes.

It surprises her when no one even notices her presence. She can't blame them though, after all Effie had done a wonderful job of creating the once deadly reaping site into something out of a fairy tale.

Katniss wonders through the crowd aimlessly, leaving Johanna behind by the food table. While most ignore her, others simply nod or flash a sad smile her way. She walks over to a desert table and reaches for a tiny cupcake with the letter 'P'. These all must be his work, she observes, the way the letter loops so delicately, so tenderly, it was Peeta's work no doubt.

"Sweetheart," Haymitch says appearing out of nowhere extending a glass full of champagne to her.

Katniss takes the champagne and observes the way the bubbles fizz their way to the top of the glass. She brings it to her lips but decides she wants to feel it all. She wants to make sure she punishes herself to the greatest length possible. She wants to really feel the hurt, watching Peeta slip into the arms of another woman. She wants to feel the way her heart clenches at the thought of Peeta being with anyone but herself. Alcohol or drugs would only numb the pain, and she doesn't want numb. She wants pain. She places the glass down and walks away from Haymitch without a word.

He doesn't follow.

That's when she sees them, embracing, radiating, _happy._

She watches as Peeta tilts Elena's chin gently, and brings his lips to hers in a sweet and lengthy kiss. She suddenly feels light headed as a lump begins to form in her throat threatening to choke her out. She holds her breath, but doesn't take her eyes off of them.

It hurts.

So much.

"Smile, pretend, but just don't ruin it, it's his special day." A voice softly instructs her. She turns her head slightly and watches as he takes a prolonged sip from his champagne glass.

"You're bad for business Katniss, I don't think I'll be asking you for an interview tonight." Plutarch Heavensbee says placing his empty glass on a nearby table.

"Do I look that bad?" Katniss softly asks as she watches Peeta wrap his strong arms around Elena's curvy waist. She subconsciously reaches for the exact same spot he is holding on her own body, and tries to mimic the warmth Elena must be feeling with her own hands.

It's not the same.

Plutarch rests his hand on Katniss' shoulder for a brief moment before walking away from her.

Katniss watches as Peeta gently tugs at a loose strand of Elena's hair and tucks it behind her ears. His eyes so warm, she wishes more than anything he was looking at her instead.

She feels her body slowly make its way out through the wisteria archway.

She walks a safe distance away and leans her back against the old tree that somehow survived the bombings and everything that came along with the revolution. She lowers herself to the ground and kicks off her uncomfortable shoes and extends her legs, wiggling her toes that are painted red.

She doesn't know how long she sits there observing her toes but eventually he lowers himself next to her. She can't say she's totally surprised because somewhere deep down, she always knew he would come find her. He always did.

"You alright?" he asks her gently, his eyes tracing the profile of her emotionless face.

She doesn't answer, because he knows the answer better than she even knows herself.

They sit together, side by side, wordlessly observing the light that emits from where the wedding celebrations were being held.

She suddenly realizes that she doesn't want this moment to end, because after tonight, he would belong to someone else.

"Katniss I—" he begins but she interrupts him, this is her last chance.

"Let's run away together."

"Katni—"

"Let's go. Tonight. Just you and me. We can go somewhere far, far away." She stammers, her voice trembling with desperation.

"Kat—"

She turns to him, her eyes filled with tears; her lips quiver because she can't control herself anymore. "I'm sorry, Ok? I'm sorry. I'm crazy. You _know_ I'm crazy. I'm sorry I never expressed my feelings. I'll make it up to you. I promise. I just need time, I just need—"

"Katniss stop!" Peeta raises his voice, snapping Katniss back to reality. He grasps her shoulders with both his hands and vigorously shakes her, as if trying to ground her, trying desperately to settle her irrational mind. "It's too late." He adds in a defeated voice, his hands slowly kneading the tension from her shoulders.

"But you said so yourself, at the beach, remember? You said that I was your whole life… that without me you would never be happy again."

Peeta slowly stands to his feet, his face tired and defeated. She won't let him, Katniss thinks to herself.

No, no, no, not yet.

She needs him.

"I need you Peeta," she begins, her eyes clouding with tears as she scrambles to her feet, grabbing his hands in her own. "I need you to keep me sane. I need you to hold me every night before I go to bed. I need to wake up to the smell of cheese buns. I need you to come home to me every night so we can have dinner together. I need you to pull me close on the couch while we flip through stupid meaningless TV shows. I need you to carry me up the stairs every night and make love to me."

Katniss throws her arms around Peets's neck in another act of desperation, soaking his perfectly pressed suit in her tears. "I need to hear your heartbeat every day." She says placing her ears on his chest, refusing to release him from her tight embrace.

Peeta's body remains tense under her grip but he eventually returns the embrace, wrapping his arms around her waist before placing a gentle peck on top of her head.

"Peeta?" A false sense of hope runs through her body, and foolishly Katniss calls out to him, tilting her head up to meet his perfect blue irises.

"I love you Katniss. Always have… and always will." Just when she feels her body tingle in relief she realizes her mistake. She once again failed to say those three words.

"I'm going to go now OK?" He says, slowly unhooking her hands from around his neck. She nods as she watches him lower her hand, releasing it in between their bodies.

Peeta turns his head to look at her one last time as he slowly walks away. She stands there with her hands by her side, tears rolling down her face. He watches as she attempts a smile.

A sad and fake smile that never reaches her eyes.

* * *

Thoughts?

I was personally really affected by this chapter. I kept having to stop because I would get teary eyed writing the scenes. They're so damn vivid in my head!

If I were to pick a theme song for this story, it would be: _I know you Care by Ellie Goulding._

Thanks for your support!


	13. Closet

_Red, red… red._

* * *

**Chapter 12 - Closet _  
_**

She's not sure how long it has been.

A week? Maybe two?

Or perhaps a month since the wedding.

She rarely leaves her bed. When Sae asks gently she screams at her, telling her to leave her alone, to let her be.

Haymitch visits once in a while. He knows better than to ask. He just sits in her room and watches her as she lies in her bed, staring at the ceiling.

Some days are good days. On these days she leaves her bed and sits under the shower for hours until her skin wrinkles and her body begins to shake because the hot water has turned ice-cold.

Other days are not so good, she can't stand how bright her room feels, so she creeps into her closet and closes the door. She prays for hours, begs to be taken to where Prim is.

Nighttime is the worse, because Katniss watches Peeta go home to Elena from her bedroom window. Every night he comes home at eight o'clock. She cracks open her curtain, and watches as he practically skips to the front door. Elena is always waiting for him, as soon as he gets to the porch she's outside, arms around his neck, planting kisses on his face. She helps him take off his jacket, and smiles. As soon as they disappear inside Katniss disappears back into her darkness.

One night Katniss wakes up cold and sweaty, her body shaking. She doesn't understand why it bothered her so much this time. It was common for her to have nightmares, but somehow this one seemed more vivid.

More real.

She doesn't know why she does this, but she walks over to the window and cracks open her curtain.

Maybe she was hoping to catch Peeta asleep.

Maybe she thought that would ease her back to sleep.

Instead she finds herself gripping the windowpane so hard she thinks she might break it.

Peeta and Elena are holding one another, naked, their tongue battling for control. Suddenly Peeta lifts her body, and she wraps her legs around his torso, a soft giggle escapes her lips as her head falls back. She watches as Peeta lowers her to the bed, pinning her hands above her head planting soft kisses down her milky white skin.

Her head begins to spin.

Elena's head falls to the side, as Peeta leaves trails of kisses down her neck, he must sense her grey eyes because he suddenly looks out his window, just in time to catch the sight of Katniss falling to the ground.

* * *

She feels a strong set of arms lift her from the ground and place her on her bed. She smells the faint cinnamon and thyme on her saviors skin. She snuggles into his bare chest as she breathes deeply only to recognize that faint aroused smell. That smell of sweat mixed with desire. She knows it's not for her, but his wife.

She calls him a liar before pulling the covers over her head, her body curling under the mountain of sheets.

He clicks the door shut.

* * *

It's not too long after that Gale shows up.

He finds her in her closet.

"Hey Catnip," he says gently caressing the side of her face with his hand.

"Who sent you?"

Gale hesitates, but offers the truth.

"Peeta."

She peeks over Gale's shoulder to the now empty bedroom parallel to hers.

I guess the thought of your ex-girlfriend watching you fuck your new wife and then passing out was unbearable, Katniss thinks to herself.

"You need to pull yourself together Catnip."

* * *

Thoughts?


	14. Red

_That's when his lips touch hers. _

_And she allows it. She melts. She melts right into them. _

* * *

**Chapter 13- Red**_  
_

It's good having Gale by her side again.

It's nice to have someone accompany her through the streets.

It's good to have someone there to carry her home when she gets too tired to make it back on her feet.

It's moving to have someone remind you that you're _alive,_ and that you _matter._

They're sitting in the meadow when he tells her he's found someone in District 2. He's thinking about asking her to marry him he says, his eyes lighting up.

"She's amazing Catnip," he says, radiating with joy.

"Real?" she asks, because it's the only way she can tell what's true from what's not.

"Real." He answers and she smiles.

_Real._

She's surprised, because this warm feeling that spreads through her body is so foreign.

Happiness.

She's happy.

* * *

The happiness doesn't last for long because its only two days later that she wakes up to low murmuring sounds emitting from downstairs.

She drags herself out of her bed and she knows.

She just _knows._

Carefully she takes the last step and becomes fully visible to the three men that occupy the large mahogany table in her dining room.

Gale, Haymitch, and Peeta.

She instantly feels self-conscious in her nightshirt, her legs fully exposed, her hair a mess from a night of restless sleep.

"Sweetheart, why don't you sit down?" Haymitch gestures to the empty seat directly in front of him but she ignores him, her eyes fixed on the only set of blue irises in the room.

"What's going on?" she demands, ignoring the timid glances she's receiving from the intruders.

Nothing good can come out of this and she knows it.

She notices a perfectly golden loaf of bread sitting in the middle of the dining room table. The smell is intoxicating, but she can't stomach how nonchalantly he sits in her house.

In what used to be _their_ house.

"Catnip, we've been discussing your health, and we're all very concerned..." Gale begins but all Katniss sees is Elena coming out of _her_ kitchen with a slicing knife for the bread.

Red, red… red.

That's all she sees.

Elena opens her mouth to greet Katniss but in an instance Katniss is by her side, her hand clasping around the slicing knife so hard blood seeps through her palms, dripping to the ground.

"Get the _fuck_ out of my house!" Is all she gets to spit out before she is forcibly removed from the dining room by Haymitch and Gale, her hands dripping crimson red.

She hears Elena sob and catches a glimpse of Peeta comforting her and she can't stomach it anymore. She shoves, and kicks, and screams profanities at him.

Her body floats in the air and is eventually smashed on her bed by Gale as Haymitch tells her to calm the bloody hell down. She thrashes as the two men desperately try to restore her calm.

She watches as her bedroom door swings open and Peeta storm in his eyes enraged. She continues to thrash because her target is so close by.

"I hate you! I fucking _hate_ you!" she screams at him tears streaming down her face.

She feels a prick in her arm.

Her vision begins to blur.

Blue.

The color of Peeta's eyes.

That's the last thing she sees before everything goes black.

* * *

She wakes up in an uncomfortable yet familiar metal bed. The buzzing of the engine hints at her whereabouts within the hovercraft.

"You're up," he says, briefly catching her puffy eyes in his tired ones.

He doesn't say anything for a while, simply takes her bloody hand, and cleans the wound using a damp cloth, before wrapping it gently in gauze.

"It's not going to leave a scar or anything," Peeta says his hand lingering on hers.

He looks uncomfortable, perhaps regretting his choice in words. Physical scars were the last thing that Katniss cared about and he knew that very well. It was the emotional, more mental ones that were tearing her apart.

"It'll be good for you, you'll be in good hands in the Capitol. Dr. Aurelius and his team are amazing, you know that." Peeta finally takes his hand away from hers and instantly it feels empty, hollow… cold.

"Then when you're all better, you can go visit your mother and Annie and her baby, Johanna and Gale and—" Peeta smiles down at her, and that's when she realizes that she never had a say.

The decision for her to leave his side was already made.

"When you get better, and you're yourself again… come back to 12."

She sees it, the glint of hope in his eyes. Like he still believes in her, and that he still _cares._

And that's all the reassurance she needs.

Peeta makes his way over to the door and she can't help but call out to him. She can't imagine her life without him. Even if it's some sort of a masochistic obsession with being tortured by his clear devotion to his wife. She so desperately needs to be connected to him. To have his attention. To occupy his thoughts.

"Can I… write to you?" she asks her voice hopeful, but she knows that she will do anything—_anything_ to be connected with him.

So when he turns and gives her a small nod, her body relaxes and she instantly falls asleep.

* * *

Thoughts?


	15. Letters

_"I don't owe you an explanation for anything."_

* * *

**Chapter 14 – Letters**

She doesn't know how long it's been since she left District 12, but when she finally wakes up, she just _knows_ she's already in the Capitol.

The first thing she notices are the white walls, then her white hospital gown, then the clear liquid that drips from the IV and follows the hollow tube down to her wrist. Every time the clear liquid drips from its patch there's a beeping sound.

Somehow, everything about this moment is so serene.

She feels so incredibly pure and clean. She feels like she's about to be reborn. It feels as though she is given yet another chance to make things right, and to set things straight.

Her eyes fall to her palm, the one so carefully tended to by Peeta.

She misses him.

She misses him so much.

She hears the door click open, and a young man in dark blue scrubs and a white lab coat walks towards her. Upon closer inspection, she sees how very young this man really is.

"Hi Katniss, my name is Thayer, I'm a medical student working under Dr. Aurelius." Thayer steps to her IV before adjusting the speed of the drip and noting it down carefully on his clipboard.

"Let me get this straight, Dr. Aurelius sent a twelve year old boy to take care of me?" She knows she sounds rude, but she doesn't care. Thayer does not look in any way shape or form qualified to handle her _case. _

Thayer smiles at Katniss, his green eyes piercing through hers. "I'm twenty-two, not twelve, and maybe if you smiled more often you would look more your age too." He adds as her scowl deepens.

Katniss doesn't like him, not at all. She doesn't like how he towers over her as he flashes a small pen light in her eyes before jotting down some more notes. She doesn't like how his brown hair is perfectly brushed and his face clean shaven. He's just so… so… _Capitol. _

"So here's the deal Katniss, you're slowly recovering from your severe dehydration and malnutrition, the IV is there to help restore the essential nutrients on your body. We're going to put you on a special diet once you are healthy enough to get off the IV, to help restore your physical strength. The mental aspect, we're going to steer away from medication, and stick to natural healing techniques, hiking, jogging, and hunting among other activities." Katniss is too busy processing the overload of information when Thayer, rather roughly, shoves a thermometer down Katniss' mouth. When she tries to protest, he shushes her with a stern look and waits patiently for the thermometer to beep.

"Just so you know there is a letter set in the top drawer by your bed. Haymitch made sure that there were plenty, so it should last you a while."

He yanks the thermometer out of her mouth before nodding his head, as if to approve of the number displayed. With that he quietly exits the room without saying another word.

She lies back for a couple more minutes before reaching for the letter pad.

She suddenly realizes she has no idea what to write to Peeta. She recites the content of her letter in her head numerous times but nothing sounds quite right. She beings to feel frustrated and soon an overwhelming sense of loneliness creep into her heart.

She tilts her head to one side and peeks out the window of her hospital room and is greeted by the blue sky and nothing else. She instantly misses his window. The way it looked warm and cozy… almost inviting.

She remembers the night she saw Peeta caress Elena's white milky skin with his strong hands, and the way Elena's hair so blonde looked perfect next to Peeta's.

A lump begins to form inside her throat, bile forming deep within her body. She feels herself gag, dry heave at the thought of Peeta with another women.

With her unsteady and sweaty hand she writes,

_Dear Peeta,_

_I'm at the hospital._

_I'm going to get better and then come back to twelve._

_Always, _

_Katniss_

* * *

Sorry for the short chapter, but remember this story was always meant to be told in a drabble style!

Thoughts on this chapter? Thank you so much for your overwhelming response to the previous chapter! You guys are amazing.


	16. Invitation

_"You're not the only one that lost everything on that day," he all but screamed at her._

_"So stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it."_

* * *

**Chapter 15 - Invitation**

Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months and it seems like forever has passed.

She kept on waiting, anticipating for him to write back. A simple letter was all she wanted. Was that too much to ask for?

At first it didn't bother her that he wasn't writing back. She made numerous excuses for him, all logical and sound.

He was busy, he had a wife, and he had a bakery to run.

Maybe he was still upset with her.

But none of those excuses were good enough for her to stop writing, so she kept writing, because he said she could.

He must miss her just as much as she missed him.

He must.

* * *

_Dear Peeta,_

_I'm finally off the IV, the doctor said I'm having stew for lunch today._

_Always, _

_Katniss_

* * *

_Dear Peeta,_

_I looked at myself in the mirror today. I was surprised because my cheeks aren't hollow anymore. So that's good news._

_Always,_

_Katniss_

* * *

_Dear Peeta,_

_There's this little garden in the courtyard of the hospital and it's the most beautiful thing I have seen. If you were here with me, I'm sure you would have grabbed your sketch book and captured it all and brought it to life on paper. _

_Always,  
_

_Katniss  
_

* * *

_Dear Peeta,  
_

_I'm reading a book__. _It's a classic, one of those books that were banned before. Would you like me to send you a copy? It's called Wuthering Heights. 

_Always,  
Katniss_

* * *

A month and countless letters later, she still hadn't received any response.

It's funny how everyone at the hospital knew how desperately she was waiting for Peeta to write back. Every time a nurse or Thayer would walk into her room, the first thing they would say to her was that there was no mail for her that day. They probably got tired of her asking every hour whether she had received a letter or not.

Thayer was starting to grow on her. The all business, no bullshit personality he had suited her very well. He didn't baby her, or treat her differently. She's had nurses ask for her autograph before, but Thayer, he never made her feel self-conscious or treat her differently just because she was once the Mockingjay.

"Feel like moving out of this stuffy place?" Thayer asks as he runs his stethoscope over her chest.

"What do you mean?"

"We think it's time for you to move into an apartment and out of the hospital." He states, before moving the stethoscope over the thin material of her cotton shirt.

"Why can't I move back to 12?"

"Not yet, but soon." Thayer says before reaching over to her nightstand. "Wuthering Heights… is it any good?"

Katniss shrugs her shoulder, extending her hand, taking the book from Thayer. "It's alright, a little depressing." To this he rolls his eyes and yanks the book right back out of her hand. "I'm confiscating this."

Katniss reaches for the book as he raises it above his head, and out of her reach. She realizes she's smiling and laughing softly as she tries desperately to get the book back from him.

"No depressing books." Thayer says before gently clicking her door shut.

* * *

It was March when she moved to her new apartment in the Capitol. It was a small complex, filled with medical and nursing students. Many travel from the other districts to the Capitol and attend medical school here, then move back to their prospective districts, Thayer had explained.

"This is a perfect place for you to live. In case you go crazy again, I have back up." Thayer says referring to the other medical students as he carries the last of Katniss' personal belongings to her small apartment.

"I thought you're not supposed to call your patients crazy?"

"I'm still a resident, so I'm not tied to those strict moral codes just yet." Thayer smiles.

She smiles back.

* * *

_Dear Peeta, _

_You will be so proud of me. I made bread today from scratch. I don't know if you got my last letter, but I have so much free time on my hand that I have begun to cook. Of course, it is nothing compared to your cooking, but it is a start. _

_Always,  
Katniss_

* * *

_Dear Peeta,_

_I went to visit the plaque they've built for those that had died in the barricaded area in front of what use to be Snow's mansion. There were so many names Peeta. Prim's name was there too. I wish you were there with me, because I really needed someone to lean on. I leaned on the plaque instead. I felt so lonely._

_Always, _

_Katniss._

* * *

It was May, and Katniss' anticipation was through the roof. Peeta never forgot her birthday.

May 8th.

He always made her a cake, and sang her happy birthday with his horrible raspy voice. It always made her chuckle.

But May 8th and her 24th Birthday came and went and there was nothing.

No cake, no phone call, no letter, nothing.

Katniss was crushed.

She felt invisible.

So she stopped writing.

* * *

It was the end of June when Katniss found a white envelope in her mail box.

Her heart fluttered in anticipation as she tore through the envelope.

_Together with their families _

_Gale Hawthorne and_ _Kaira Iver_

_Invite you and a guest to join us at _

_The celebration of our marriage._

The joy she felt for her best friend was overshadowed by a much stronger sense of disappointment.

Because deep down, she truly believed that this white envelope addressed to her was from Peeta.

* * *

Thoughts?


End file.
